Negotiating in Life, Negotiating Tips, Negotiation Research May 7, 2010

Social skills and emotional intelligence in negotiation.

Negotiations always involve people, so it stands to reason that it is necessary to have a good social skills and strong emotional intelligence when negotiating.

When you have emotional intelligence or EQ, you are able to define and respond to other people’s emotional states. As we have discussed before on Negotiation Space, everyone comes to the negotiating table with a hidden agenda. Some people are looking to fulfill some emotional need like validation or appreciation. Having the emotional intelligence to pick up those cues from others may give you an edge.

In the first chapter of his book Working with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman writes the following:

“The rules for work are changing. We’re being judged by a new yardstick: not just by how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also how well we handle ourselves and each other.”

Emotional intelligence, in other words, is just as important as “book” intelligence and experience. We could argue that In business negotiations emotional intelligence may be even more important.

Having the ability to scan a situation, and adapt yourself to it is a very important skill in a negotiation, and one that could give you an edge. Social skills can be used as leverage during a negotiation, says Thunderbird School of Management Professor Karen Walch in this video.

You should be aware of others’ emotions, but it is essential to understand and assess your own emotions. Are you ready to negotiate or are you in the throes of anger, depression or frustration? Obviously negative emotions will impact you ability to negotiate. On the other hand, can you harness positive emotions such as gratitude, feeling of achievement or mastery and desire for success into giving you an edge during the negotiation?

How do you rate emotional intelligence and social skills during a negotiation? Have you had trouble when the other party lacks social skills?