Career Negotiation, Negotiating Tips, Negotiating in Life June 29, 2009

Listen to me!

Norm Brodsky, an entrepreneur and business advice columnist, writes in the June 2009 issue of Inc. Magazine: “(The) key rule of negotiating for me: Never anticipate what the other side is thinking. Go into every negotiating situation with an open mind and listen to what the other party is saying.” Read the whole story of why Brodsky arrived at this conclusion. There is no doubt that active listening during a business negotiation is crucial for your success. After all, if you don’t understand where the other party stands or why, you won’t know how to proceed or what is expected of you. Sometimes we hear someone talking but we don’t listen to what they are saying. Our minds are not focused on what the other person is saying because we are too involved in our own thoughts. We are distracted or we ignore information we don’t like or disagree with. Real, active listening is a skill that we can and should master. It takes a conscientious effort to do so. Dr. Chester Karrass gives us a few tips that can help improve our listening:

1. Provide the other party with your full attention. That means that you are not engaging in doing anything else—no fiddling with papers or looking at your text messages.
2. Don’t interrupt the person speaking. Let him or her finish his or her thoughts before you jump in.
3. Don’t tune out just because you don’t like what the person is saying.
4. Repeat back what you have heard.

Dr. Karrass also advises that you should have an “official listener” on your team who takes detailed notes recording what is said, how it is said and in what order. Your negotiations will certainly improve if you work on your listening skills. Were you ever in situation in which you faltered because you did not listen to the other side? Please share in the comments.