Negotiating in Life , Negotiating Tips , Business Negotiation August 15, 2011

Silence is Golden

Talking too much or talking off the cuff are both the kiss of death for successful business negotiations. We have emphasized here on Negotiation Space before that listening is an essential skill and tactic during any business negotiation...

Talking too much or talking off the cuff are both the kiss of death for successful business negotiations. We have emphasized here on Negotiation Space before that listening is an essential skill and tactic during any business negotiation. Simply put, when you are too busy talking, you won’t be able to listen effectively.

We came across the article “4 Words That Will Make You A Better Negotiator” on Bnet.com. These are not words that you say to others—they are words that you say to yourself BEFORE you start speaking to others. In essence, they are: shut up and listen.

Why would shutting up have such a deep impact? Author Dave Logan says the following:
it interrupts something called an “amygdala loop,” in which one person loses their cool and goes into flight-or-fight mode.  Being linguistic creatures, we don’t throw things (hopefully), instead, we lob insults and arguments, stop listening, stop making sense of things, and are thoroughly convinced that we are right and the other is wrong.   This behavior triggers the other person’s amygdala, and the conflict spirals.

Basically, by shutting up we are calming down and LISTENING better. The more you listen and the less you talk the more likely you are to UNDERSTAND the other party, and thus, be able to negotiate a win-win agreement.
What are your thoughts? Do you practice silence is golden?
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