If men are from Mars and women from Venus, do they negotiate differently?

Do men and women negotiate the same way? Are they equally effective?

In a blog post “Can ‘Nice’ Girls Negotiate” on the Harvard Business Review blog, Whitney Johnson talks about salary negotiations and gender perceptions. Apparently, “nice girls” do not ask for more, and if they do, they may actually get penalized. She quotes a Washington Post survey that found:

“...both men and women were more likely to subtly penalize women who did ask for more, the perception being that women who asked were "less nice."

Apparently, women who are aggressive negotiators are being perceived as less feminine. Men are expected to be more aggressive, therefore they are perceived as “proactive.”

On the other hand, the authors of When Gender Changes the Negotiation, from the Harvard Business School, found that gender is NOT a good predictor of negotiation ability. Here’s an excerpt from an article about the subject:

“...neither women nor men perform better or worse across all negotiations. However, certain types of negotiation can set the stage for differences in outcomes negotiated by men and by women, particularly when (1) the opportunities and limits of the negotiation are unclear; and (2) situational cues in these ambiguous situations trigger different behaviors by men and women.”

They go on to describe that certain situations can affect disparity in negotiation, specifically, highly competitive situations and when negotiating on other's behalf. Competition seems to benefit men, as society expects men to be more competitive than women. On the other hand, women perform better when they are negotiating for others or acting as an advocate.

The bottom line seems to be that women and men are both equally good at negotiation but that societal and cultural norms may affect how each gender is perceived.

Do you negotiate differently when you are dealing with a man or a woman? Have you noticed differences in women-led versus men-led negotiating teams? We’d like to get your first hand accounts.

World Peace is a nice goal but not a good demand.

On December 10, several San Francisco State University (SFSU) students were arrested for protesting budget cuts and tuition increases at their school by barricading themselves inside a university building. The New York Times reports that they had listed their demands and grievances on a blog:

“Along with indignation over budget cuts, a blog listing the protesters’ demands included forgiveness of all student loans and ending the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. With demands far beyond the purview of school administrators, negotiations with the students (were nearly impossible)...”

The New York Times article can be read here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/11/education/11arrest.html

Perhaps it is a lack of maturity on the SFSU students’ part, but when you are negotiating you should not make extraneous and unrealistic demands. It won’t help your cause. Furthermore, every negotiator needs to differentiate between needs and wants. In this case, the SFSU students want to make a point but they are doing it at the expense of negotiating their real need: lessening the impact of the university’s budget decisions.

As Dr. Chester L. Karrass writes in his book In Business as in Life You Don’t Get What You Deserve, You Get What You Negotiate:

“...in negotiation...our job is to discover what the other side says they want and what they really need.

If we can give the other party what they need, the will forget many of the wants or demands they asked for at the beginning of negotiation. That’s when both sides move toward agreement.”

What should SFSU students do to be able to negotiate better with the university administration?

Short vs. long-term relationships

If you are a runner, you know it is much different to train for a short race than to prepare for a marathon. You go all out for a sprint and you focus on speed. When you are running a marathon, you are working with endurance, not speed. You must pace yourself so you can run all 26 miles.

It is the same when you negotiate in the short-term versus the long-term. If the other party is someone you are only negotiating with once, you may decide to sprint to a resolution and negotiate more aggressively. However, an aggressive strategy is not going to work so well if you are trying to develop a long-term business relationship. As in a marathon, in a long-term business relationship, you will take it slower and you will focus more on your end goals.

As Chester L. Karrass writes in his book Give and Take:

“One of the big trade-offs in negotiation is that of balancing short-term victories against long-term goals. The other party can be badgered, coerced or threatened into doing what you wish. People who give in under these conditions remain hostile.”

The bottom line is that you have more to gain in a long-term relationship than in a short-term one. Creating hostility to achieve short-term goals may endanger any long term gains. It’s like that old saying says: “don’t burn your bridges.”

Any business negotiation should be approached with a strategic mind-set. If your goal is to establish a long-term relationship, be sure to create a cooperative negotiating environment. You are going to be seeing the people at the table again and again. Think of the big picture. How much is a win worth now versus a win in the long-run?

How do you handle your short-term negotiations differently than negotiations with long-term partners?

Negotiating for Art --- Some Tension Relief

Jean-Claude

This week, Jean-Claude, partner and collaborator of the artist Christo, died. Both are probably best known for various large scale art works, some would say stunts, such as draping parts of New York’s Central Park in orange cloth in a project called The Gates. But what you may not know is that Jean-Claude was a great negotiator. It turns out it takes a lot of negotiation to be able to legally engage in the art that the couple were known for.

Harvard Business School was so impressed with the couple’s negotiation skills that it bestowed the “Great Negotiator Award” to them. Jean-Claude was apparently the better half at negotiating. For instance, she negotiated 59 separate contracts with land owners to be able to install the Running Fence project. You can read more here, at the Harvard Business Blog http://blogs.harvardbusiness.org/hbr/hbreditors/2009/11/jeanneclaude_the_great_negotia.html

As the article sums up:

“The greatness of Jeanne-Claude's negotiating was, in the end, not that she and Christo got their way at the bargaining table, but that they got so many millions of people to experience the world, at least a part of it and for a little while, on their terms.”

Tension Relief

Negotiating can become difficult and stressful. Chester L. Karrass says nothing dispels tension as well as a quip or a funny story. In honor of Thanksgiving here’s one:

“A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy answered, 'No ma'am, they're dead.”

(From the website: http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/jokes/jokes_thanksgiving.htm)

If you need more funny stories for your next negotiating session, check out Reader’s Digest online, they have hundreds! http://www.rd.com/clean-jokes-and-laughs


Happy Thanksgiving!

Care for a nibble?

Are you a nibbler? We aren’t talking about your snacking tendencies but rather your negotiation style. If you are the type of negotiator who after agreeing to a deal asks for extra “small” things thrown in for little or no cost, you are a nibbler.

In sales, nibbling is effective because most sellers don’t want to lose out on a sale over small things. They are willing to throw in what the buyer is asking at cost or free in order to close the deal.

In general, both sellers and buyers may engage in nibbling. And most likely they will succeed. The other party rarely wants to appear miserly and will make concessions on small things. The other party wants to be seen as fair.

On the buyer side, nibbles are usually extra discounts, earlier delivery dates, higher quality merchandise than was originally negotiated, extended payment times, extra samples, free training and other extras.

On the seller side, nibbles can be extra charges, extended delivery dates, reduced services and other items that end up costing the buyer.

While there is room for nibbles, and there is nothing wrong with asking for extra stuff, both buyers and sellers should be aware of the practice. Build in some nibbles into the cost of your deal. Be prepared to stop excessive nibbling or your real cost is going to go up significantly. You could also develop a policy for nibbles. You could have a published price list on extras, for instance.

As a buyer, nibbling can pay off. But as a seller, giving in to too many nibbles can eat into your profit. Knowing when to say when is probably the best advice for both sides.

So, are you a nibbler? What have you successfully nibbled for?

Is it ethical?

As Dr. Chester L. Karrass writes in his book Give and Take:

“Unethical tactics for achieving worthwhile goals ultimately destroy the positive value of those goals.”

In business negotiations, we are working to achieve a goal. However, we should not be so goal-focused that we fall into unethical tactics. As Dr. Karrass says that unethical tactics “....have no place in the business world. Those in the gray area between right and wrong should be looked at with skepticism.”

Whenever we enter a negotiation we may ask ourselves what will I do to achieve my goals? The website, Culture at Work (http://culture-at-work.com/ethics.html) on its section regarding ethics, puts it this way:

“When someone else stands in the way, the negotiator faces the core ethical issue of negotiation: when are my needs and wants more important than treating this person in a moral or socially acceptable manner? Whatever choice you make may involve significant costs to yourself, to the other party, to the wider community. Often the "right" thing to do is not clear.”

Some behavior is clearly wrong, like lying. But what about withholding information, is that unethical? What about bluffing?

According to Dr. Karrass, “Business bluffing is part of negotiating. However, the rules forbid and should penalize outright lying, false claims, bribing an opponent...”

In order to avoid unethical behavior and tactics, we must accept that ethical behavior is important and recognize unethical strategies and tactics. We may often have to take the higher road because the other party may not always act ethically.

Dr. Karrass suggests instilling the following guidelines:

Do not allow lawbreaking or lying
Avoid misrepresentation and exaggeration
Select ethical people to be on the negotiating team
Negotiate in good faith
Enforce the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have do unto you.”


Have you been confronted with unethical behavior during a negotiation? How did you deal with it?

Haggling or Negotiating?

With the recession making budgets tighter than usual, the hot “new” thing is to haggle for a better price on EVERYTHING. This week’s Time Magazine has an article about haggling: “In the Recession, Shoppers are Becoming Hagglers.”

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1913774,00.html

This tells us that 56% of consumers have tried to obtain a better deal that what is being offered.

We used to think of haggling as something carried out in exotic open-air markets, or by housewives dealing with the fishmonger or something equally old-fashioned.

But the bottom line is that haggling is negotiating for a better price. In fact, haggling is using all sorts of business negotiation techniques to achieve the price you are willing to pay, for stuff that you need in your personal life.

Some cultures like the Arabs or Mexicans, are more open to haggling. Americans tend to be reticent about haggling, as this great blog post from The Digerati Life points out:

http://www.thedigeratilife.com/blog/index.php/2009/04/17/haggle-how-to-negotiate-price-haggling/

In this classic Reader’s Digest article:

http://www.rd.com/advice-and-know-how/how-to-haggle-like-a-pro/article15096.html

How to Haggle Like a Pro, we are given five haggling tips:

1) Use silence
2) Know that everything is negotiable
3) Talk about the competitor’s price
4) Don’t get angry
5) Keep the opponent to his/her promise

These are similar to some of the business negotiating techniques we teach at Karrass. Perhaps the next time you want to test what you have learned here, you should go to your local big box store and see if you can get yourself a deal!

Testing Your Assumptions

What are your assumptions and can you trust them?

Assumptions are educated guesses or guesstimates about what the other person is doing, thinking and/or planning. In business negotiations, we work to assess the other person and part of that assessment is to make assumptions. We assume what their bottom price might be or what concessions he or she might be willing to make

Stephen Covey, the author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, once said: “We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be. And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of these assumptions.”


It is human nature to assume things based on our experiences. Perhaps someone who looks a lot like the person you are negotiating with once lied to you and now you assume this person across the table looks like a liar. The point is that assumptions can be faulty and you should not trust them entirely.

However, we make assumptions each day about a whole slew of things: which line at the bank will move faster, which item at the store is better than another, etc. We often base our decisions on those assumptions regardless if they are correct. In decision-making theory, this is called bounded rationality (when people make decisions without all the information necessary).

Dr. Chester Karrass tells us that the “ideal negotiator should have ... the open-mindedness to test his or her own assumption and the other person’s intentions.” If, as a negotiator, you do not test your assumptions, you may become a victim of bounded rationality, which in turn could lead to costly mistakes as you negotiate.

Don Miguel Ruiz, in his bestselling book The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom says: “The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions.”

In negotiations, always question your assumptions.

Listen to me!

Norm Brodsky, an entrepreneur and business advice columnist, writes in the June 2009 issue of Inc. Magazine:

“(The) key rule of negotiating for me: Never anticipate what the other side is thinking. Go into every negotiating situation with an open mind and listen to what the other party is saying.”

Read the whole story of why Brodsky arrived at this conclusion.

There is no doubt that active listening during a business negotiation is crucial for your success. After all, if you don’t understand where the other party stands or why, you won’t know how to proceed or what is expected of you.

Sometimes we hear someone talking but we don’t listen to what they are saying. Our minds are not focused on what the other person is saying because we are too involved in our own thoughts. We are distracted or we ignore information we don’t like or disagree with.

Real, active listening is a skill that we can and should master. It takes a conscientious effort to do so. Dr. Chester Karrass gives us a few tips that can help improve our listening:

1) Provide the other party with your full attention. That means that you are not engaging in doing anything else—no fiddling with papers or looking at your text messages.
2) Don’t interrupt the person speaking. Let him or her finish his or her thoughts before you jump in.
3) Don’t tune out just because you don’t like what the person is saying.
4) Repeat back what you have heard.

Dr. Karrass also advises that you should have an “official listener” on your team who takes detailed notes recording what is said, how it is said and in what order.

Your negotiations will certainly improve if you work on your listening skills.

Were you ever in situation in which you faltered because you did not listen to the other side? Please share in the comments.

Thoughts and Quotes on Negotiation

People have been negotiating with each other for thousands of years, and ever since, they have been talking about how to do it best. We thought it would be interesting to take a look at how (famous) people have viewed negotiations:

From our founder’s perspective

Chester Karrass: “In business, you don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.”

From a political perspective

Richard Nixon: “Let us move from the era of confrontation to the era of negotiation.”

Dean Acheson: “Negotiation in the classic diplomatic sense assumes parties more anxious to agree than to disagree.”

Howard Baker: “The most difficult thing in any negotiation, almost, is making sure that you strip it of the emotion and deal with the facts. And there was a considerable challenge to that here and understandably so.”

Francis Bacon: “If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainty.”

From a poets perspective

Robert Browning:That low man seeks a little thing to do,
Sees it and does it:
This high man, with a great thing to pursue,
Dies ere here knows it.

That low man goes on adding one to one,
His hundred soon hit;
This high man, aiming at a million,
Misses a unit.

Other perspectives

Harry Martinson: “The art of negotiation is perhaps what most deeply distinguishes man from the animals, and it is this art and this will to negotiate that has brought man forward, elevated him beyond the animals.”

Robert Estabrook: “He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of a diplomat.”

If you have any interesting quotes on negotiation, please share with us in the comments. Or, create your own quote and publish it on this blog.

Cultural Bias in Negotiation

Willingness to take risk varies widely by culture. Where one culture may find it perfectly acceptable to ask for much more than they need (i.e. they leave a lot of room to negotiate), another culture reacts to this approach negatively (i.e. they are lying to us, we do not trust them). Some cultures are very individualistic, while other cultures are collective or group oriented. Some cultures prefer a direct negotiating style while others prefer an indirect approach (i.e. via intermediaries or third parties). In some cultures decisions are made by consensus so no single person has to take responsibility. A particular cultural approach may be defined by geography, nationality, or company. Cultures vary from organization to organization. It is important to know who you are dealing with and how they prefer to negotiate.

International Negotiations

Western negotiators (i.e. from Europe or North America) generally prefer an organized, point-by-point, issue-by-issue approach to their negotiations. Some Asian cultures (particularly China) take a more holistic approach to negotiation; often jumping from one issue to another totally unrelated issue; then back to change a point that everyone had already agreed to; and then off to another issue. This disorderly approach can confuse an uninformed Western style negotiator. It hinders their ability to keep track of where they are in the negotiation and often is perceived as simply a tactic to gain an advantage. In fact, this seemingly disorderly approach is generally purely culturally based.

Cultural Bias

Understand the influence 'Culture' has on your negotiations. It does not matter if you are negotiating with a co-worker inside your own organization, a supplier, or a customer. Start by having a good understanding of your own cultural bias and how your negotiating approach may differ from that of the other party. Once you learn the cultural differences, don't just adapt yourself to the other party's culture. Learn ways to make the most of these cultural differences to craft more creative agreements. A good understanding of various cultural approaches to negotiating is to your advantage.

Let's Get Personal

Good negotiators have more than good business judgment. Being successful as a negotiator goes beyond knowing what you want and how much you are willing to pay for it. In fact, it may be that successful negotiators have a good negotiating personality.

The reality is you negotiate with people and certain personal traits always come into play. For instance, last week we discussed credibility in negotiations. Credibility is a tremendously important attribute in a negotiator. However, there are several other personal traits that help a negotiator achieve better results.

Some of the traits of a good negotiator are:

• Ability to inspire confidence
• Tolerance for conflict
• Patience
• Open-mindedness
• Self-confidence
• Integrity
• Stamina
• Persistence
• Tact
• Flexibility
• Sense of humor

Obviously, not every person has every trait. And as you can see, these traits are not about education or experience. They are about character and personality. It’s no coincidence that these traits are also the hallmarks of a pleasant personality. Working on developing these traits will not only make you a more agreeable person, but will make you a better negotiator.

Can you negotiate with pirates?

Blackbeard may long be dead but piracy is alive and well (and on the upswing) in the seas off Somalia. And why not? Somalian pirates are able to take over unarmed ships and hold expensive cargo and crew hostage in return for ransom. Easy money for the pirates since most commercial ships carry hijacking/piracy insurance and are able to pay out high sums. Until last week, the pirates were winning. The shipping companies were forced to negotiate with the pirates in order to return their crew and vessels.

Last week, pirates attempted to hijack the Maersk Alabama, and were able to take its captain, Richard Phillips, hostage. The pirates demanded more than a million dollars in ransom money for his return. In Captain Phillips’ case, negotiations seemed to break down and finally, the Navy SEALS were deployed to save him. Why did this situation have to be resolved by force? Why did the negotiations fail?

1) No common ethical background
A common ethical background is essential in conducting negotiations. In a typical business negotiation, for instance one involving a sales contract, both parties share an understanding of contract law and moreover, have a shared sense of consequences if said law is broken. Pirates, on the other hand, are not known for their ethical behavior. By engaging in piracy and hijacking, pirates have already shown a disregard for laws and ethics, and prove that they have no fear of consequences.

2) No room for compromise
When pirates "negotiate" there is no room for compromise because it becomes a zero-sum game. Either money exchanges hands or someone gets killed. When there is no middle ground, no amount of negotiating skill will help.

3) Unequal footing
Negotiations often seek to find a mutually acceptable price for a transaction. How can you put a price on a life? How much is too much or too little? For the family of a hostage, there can be no price that is too high--a life is always more precious than money. And the pirates know this.

Extracting the truth in negotiation

The audio is not great on this. Turn up the volume.





Until next time...think about it.

You can Win the Negotiating Game! (But first, what do you mean by “Win”, and what do you mean by “Game”?) Section C

The word game is sometimes defined as, "anything resembling a game, as in requiring skill, endurance, or adherence to rules: e.g. the game of diplomacy." But it also can involve, "a trick or strategy: e.g. to see through someone's game." "Gaming" is what the gambling industry now calls itself, although everyone knows that the "games" are weighted in the favor of the "house".

If one is interested in weighting the outcome in their own favor, that is; doing what they can to promote an outcome that benefits themselves, one can take a lesson from the "I treat negotiating like a game..." folks. But what about those who strive to go beyond "winning" in that simple, competitive sense and find a truly better deal for both parties?

Is there anything they can learn from the attitudes of the "negotiating is a game" people?

Yes.

1. Set goals based on the information you have at the outset of the negotiation.
Use these as benchmarks or points of reference as you gain new information through the process of exploration within the negotiation, but DON'T BE MARRIED TO THEM. Allow for some flexibility and fluidity in your goals as you gain knowledge. Your final outcome may be magnitudes better than your original goal, but you may never have been able to see it at the outset.

2. PLAN – Planning is the #1 use of time in Negotiation. Know how to achieve the goals you've set and plan a strategy for achieving them. Then set out a tactical program to achieve this strategy. (This really has a lot to do with Games! People often worry about being manipulative or disingenuous in their negotiations if they strategize. But having a plan and a way to achieve it isn't sneaky and it doesn't preclude listening to others and integrating their needs into your process. I think of it like the writing process – I have an idea, I start writing about it. As I write, I get new thoughts and during my research, new information comes in. I integrate this new stuff, EDIT MY WORK and very often what I post doesn't look anything like what I originally planned. Very often it has more depth because I've been through the process of writing it. The same is true for negotiations. No one is smart enough to know the best possible outcome at the beginning of the bargaining process. It's why we negotiate.

3. RELAX – This is easier for some than others, but it's really important. It doesn't mean don't take what you're doing seriously. It means avoid making yourself tense. When you're tense, you're likely to appear more hostile, you're likely to be more defensive.

It's in our nature.

You're not going to allow yourself the mental leeway to think about the process and explore alternatives. Some people advise others to relax as if it were the easiest and most natural thing in the world. For some of us it is, for most it's not, particularly when entering a negotiation. Because we feel we have something to lose or gain – money, status, self-esteem…
But, remember, these interactions can have serious consequences.

Soooooooooo, it may be counterintuitive or feel a little uncomfortable, but find a way to 'chill' instead of looking for a kill...

Until next time...think about it.

You can Win the Negotiating Game! (But first, what do you mean by “Win”, and what do you mean by “Game”?) Part 2

When I was leading Karrass negotiation seminars, I’d run into people who’d enthusiastically say, “I love negotiating. It’s a game to me.”
I often wondered about that. Negotiation is a critical element of business. Was this attitude wrong in any way, or would it be advantageous? What could I, and others, learn from it?

When I examined that, the first thing I noticed was that these folks frequently achieved their goals in the practice negotiations we did in the workshop. Did their treating it like a “game” have anything to do with that?

After chewing on this and talking about it for several years, here’s what I’ve come up with. Approaching negotiation as a competitive game probably helped them:

Define “winning” in an achievable way.
Focus their thinking during planning in a strategic and then tactical way.
Take greater risk.
Relax enough to consider alternative strategies as the negotiation progressed.
Enjoy the process.

Those sound like good and admirable things. What could be wrong with all that?

It turned out that the people who voiced this attitude tended to be more strictly competitive. Attributing a game-like, competitive attitude tends to de-personalize the experience. This allows for the self-focus and a relatively low concern for the needs of the other party. When the goal was “just get as much as you can from the other party” they did very well. And some negotiations are like that. (I think of car purchases, for example. But that’s a topic for another day.)

But any individual negotiation that affects a longer-term relationship or has the potential to effect individual or organizational reputation, benefits from a more cooperative perspective.

If you’ve got to come back another day to deal with an entity whose trousers you have previously beaten off, you may be in for a rough business negotiation. If I feel you took too much from me last time, I may be defensive at best or even aggressive in trying to “get you back”- either to balance the score sheet or to punish you for taking advantage of me the last time.

I’ve actually seen people “win” in the first several practice negotiations in the seminar, but by the end of the workshop no one wanted to deal with them. How winning a strategy is that? (Happily, this is a very rare occurrence. But you’ve got to wonder about those people’s childhoods…)

Beyond that, these “game” folks were limiting themselves in terms of their vision.
They didn’t do well in big picture, cooperative negotiations, wherein it was important to align their goals with the needs of the other party.

Interestingly, as I looked at what these folks did for a living, they seemed to be in positions that benefited from their ways of approaching deal-making. Simple one-off deals were their specialty and there was little or no call for complex, long-term agreement-making. Their personal negotiation ceiling was in achieving exceptionally good deals for their side, or themselves.

There’s nothing wrong with this. A very comfortable professional and personal life can be built of these types of successes. But they were never going to have an effect on business or social evolution. They weren’t visionary. They couldn’t see the next level in the big picture.

Until next time... think about it.

You can Win the Negotiating Game! (But first, what do you mean by “Win”, and what do you mean by “Game”?)

Over time, a connection has been made in our thinking and literature between negotiation and games.

For example, the term “win-win” comes to negotiation from mathematical game theory.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_theory

In game theory a win-win game is one in which both parties can (guess what?) win.

That seems like a logical term to subsume into the lexicon of negotiating, but there’s a huge potential flaw, a logical shortcoming. In games, winning is clearly defined. In a business deal, there may be no clear definition of a win for either (any) party at the beginning of the interaction. The parties learn from each other during the course of the discussions, and very often discover a “winning” outcome that could not have been imagined at the outset. If we are fearful and unfamiliar with the process of negotiating, sometimes just closing a deal becomes a “win”. So a Win-Win deal could be any deal that closes. That’s why in Dr. Karrass’ definition of Both-Win, each party must come out with greater concrete value than they considered at the outset,which goes way past just closing. This is a huge distinction.

Clearly, consideration goes into the Dr. Karrass’ choice of words.

One of his most powerful early works on the subject of business negotiation is The Negotiating Game. What does he mean by the word, “game”? How does it connect with the very serious, often critical, business function of negotiating agreements? Where do the concept of play and the concept of business overlap or intersect? Is Karrass’ title a clue to his attitude toward negotiation? Does this guru take his subject lightly?

Hardly.

As one of the world’s leading experts on Negotiation, he has a passion for his work that has led him to over 40 years of pioneering work in the field.

I believe that Dr. Karrass’ book title uses the word “game” not so much in terms of “an amusement or pastime”, as “a business or profession: e.g. He's in the real-estate game.” (Remember “The Pajama Game?”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bzv4jOTuwjw

How could we as a civil society have allowed that to occur? What were we collectively thinking?)

The word "game" also has a lot of other interesting, related meanings – http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/game

trick, prey, or pluck or spirit. These all have applicability to negotiating, as in:

He “gamed” me.

This piece of the market place is “fair game”.

I think they’re “game” for my idea.

But some business people do think about negotiating as a game in the sense of “an amusement or pastime”. Is this legitimate or helpful???

Until next time….think about it.

Have a Nice Win-Win Depression, BFF!

The Depression has hit here in California as hard as almost anywhere.
Yet on any given day I'm likely to hear at least one person say, "Have a nice day!" (New Hampshire has "Live Free or Die", we're stuck with "Have a Nice Day!")

Figures of speech are important. They send a message. The message of "HaND" is supposed to be, "I'm actually thinking about you. I care about your welfare. You have some level of importance to me." ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Have_A_Nice_Day)

Have you ever negotiated with someone who said, "I'm a Win-Win Negotiator!"?
What does that mean, "I'm a Win-Win Negotiator!"?

It's intended to communicate, "I'm actually thinking about you. I care about your welfare. You have some level of importance to me." (Are you getting where I'm going here…?)

So what does "Win-Win" mean in negotiation?
Try asking people what they think.
My experience tells me you'll get a lot of:
"Uh, well, it, uh" (Jaw goes slightly slack, mouth breathing begins) “It means, uh, Win-Win kind of means, well, uh…" (Voice fades…eyes roll back in head, slight drooling from corner of mouth.)

The BEST most people can come up with when asked this question is that both parties walk away from a deal happy.

Happy is nice.

But any negotiator worth her salt ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salary ) can leave you happy in a negotiation, even if she beat the stuffing out of you. In that case, you'd be happy because she's a good negotiator and she's happy because she got everything she wanted.

SOOOOOO...

Be wary of the person who claims to be a "Win-Win" negotiator.
Are they really interested in improving the value of your side of the deal, or are they simply blowing happysmoke?
This can be a truly disingenuous way of getting you to take down your guard or it can be a simple signal of good will with no real, quantifiable goal attached.

Or, like, "Have a Nice Day" it can be completely on-target and heartfelt.

But given its overuse and general weakened meaning and impact (I'm pretty sure I don't even actually hear "HaND" most of the time when it's said) do you really want to be the person saying it?

So, until next time Have a Nice Day:)

and...Think About It.

INTEGRITY

A negotiation is more than a discussion of issues or a signed agreement. It is an unwritten judgment on the quality and character of the participants. In reaching that judgment, integrity is the key element. Integrity makes the deal work. There is no substitute for it.

The absence in integrity cannot be offset by intelligence, competence, or tight legal documents. Without integrity, no deal, however carefully written, is worth much. Built into the transaction must be a high sense of values, the generosity to resolve subsequent difficulties equitably, and a commitment to meet the intent of the agreement. Integrity is always a big part of the price. Wherever it is lacking, you’ll find yourself shortchanged.

Establishing Your Viewpoint

An exchange of viewpoints can be a very tough negotiation. Ideas are like possessions; people don’t want to part with them. Here are eight things to consider whenever you are persuading someone to accept your viewpoint:


1. Talk less, listen more. The other person wants to be heard. When you let the other person talk, you can gain many insights into their viewpoint. Chances are the other person will reciprocate and be more attentive when you speak.

2. Don’t interrupt. Interruptions make people angry and block communication.

3. Don’t be belligerent. When you feel strongly about something, it is more difficult to be soft spoken than harsh. But a soft-spoken person encourages the same treatment from others. An argumentative attitude has little success in changing opinions.

4. Don’t hurry to bring up your own points. As a rule it’s best to hear the other person’s full viewpoint before expressing your own.

5. Restate the other person’s position and objectives as soon as you understand them. People like to know they’ve been heard and understood. This is an inexpensive concession for you to make; it forces you to listen better; and helps you to phrase your points in the other person’s terms.

6. Identify the key issue and stick to it. Cover one point at a time and avoid trying to overwhelm with arguments.

7. Don’t digress and try to keep the other person from digressing. Three ways: temporarily agree on nonessential points, agree to discuss some issues later, treat some issues as not being relevant.

8. You will find it works better to be “for a point of view,” not against one.


When you try to convince another to accept your viewpoint, realize that their acceptance may take some time. Give the other person time to get used to your ideas rather than attempting to force them to make a quick decision. People need time to assimilate anything new or different.

You are asking the other person to exchange your new ideas for their old. It’s just like you are asking them to discard their old friends. Right or wrong, they have grown accustomed and committed to their viewpoints; and it is logical that they will be more receptive to your viewpoint if you simply give them time to adjust.

Negotiating Power Is In Your Head

There is an old expression, "If you think you can, or if you think you can't, you are right." This certainly applies to how you approach your negotiations. Your power is in your head.

Much of what happens during a negotiation is influenced by the expectations and pre-conditioning of each party. As we discuss in our Effective Negotiating Seminar, you are normally more aware of your pressures than the pressures on the other party. You need to discipline yourself to determine what pressures the other party has. And, to what extent you can, precondition the other party to impact their expectations.

A recent article in the Los Angeles Times (April 15, 2008) illustrates this issue. The article describes what's happening today with many consumer purchases – things like flat-screen televisions, new furniture, clothes, luggage, etc.

Most of us have preconceived expectations regarding what is possible, and what is not possible, when we see that sale price posted on a new flat-screen television. But, as this LA Times article states, this is changing!

"With jobs getting scarcer, stocks on a roller coaster and economists talking recession, not many people feel like paying full price for, well, anything." Now is the time to try negotiating. "That's right, the age-old tactic more frequently observed in foreign bazaars and rug stores is returning to the malls and Main Street. As stores feel pressured to move merchandise, and consumers feel the pinch of slowing economy, prices are becoming more negotiable."

Negotiating is at an all time high. "Negotiating is more common at independent retailers than big chain stores . . . but that is changing, says Richard Giss, a partner in Deloitte & Touche's consumer business division in Los Angeles."

Obviously when a store permits its salespeople to negotiate prices, it can hurt the bottom line. But, it can hurt the store much more if merchandise ends up sitting around unsold and larger discounts have to be offered to sell it a month from now.

What is the key to taking advantage of this changing climate in the consumer marketplace? You've got to try to negotiate. Don’t let your head tell you it can’t be done.

Remember what we talked about in our Effective Negotiating Seminar. Be prepared to negotiate. Research prices before you start and know what competitors are offering (the power of competition). Use the Web – more and more merchants are agreeing to match the price of something you can purchase on-line.

Be nice (i.e. establish a relationship). Take your time, this assures both you and the merchant have a vested interest in making a deal happen. Ask for information on upcoming discounts, past discounts, special un-advertised discounts, special discounts or coupons they have sent out to other customers, that could be used for this purchase.

Sometimes a merchant may be willing to take off the sales tax. Paying cash, “or pulling out a credit card or checkbook and looking ready to buy on the spot helps too.” Ask for help, “This is all I can spend. What can you do for me?”

Be persistent; but be prepared to walk out (deadlock) “When they say, ‘I can’t do that. I’ll lose money,’ say ‘If I walk out of here, you’ll lose even more money.” As one merchant said, “We don’t want to do it, but we don’t want to lose the business either.”

Don’t make a scene in the store. A merchant is much more likely to offer a price concession if not all the other shoppers in the store hear what is happening. If you are purchasing multiple products (i.e. three pairs of shoes) ask for a discount. If you are a repeat customer, ask for the ‘good customer discount.’ Try a ‘nibble’ – if I buy these, will you give me one of these?

You may be surprised how things have changed – just in the last few months. “One thing is certain: There’s no harm in asking. And shop owners probably won’t be surprised if you ask for a bargain.” These negotiations starts with you – you have to ask!

Negotiating With My Doctor???

Here's a little reinforcement for you regarding personal negotiating.

In the May, 2007 AARP bulletin there is this header: ASK YOUR DOCTOR FOR A DISCOUNT. "A 2005 Harris Interactive poll found that only one in eight American adults ever tries to negotiate costs --- but more than 60% of those who do said they got a better price."

A couple of tips:

• Ask your doctor before treatment begins.

• Offer to pay cash, maybe even up-front.

Our doctors are business people, just as we are. There is always a better deal for both parties, but it begins with asking.

Negotiating Personal Medical Costs

Many people save money on their medical bills simply by asking their doctor to reduce the bill. Here's some information from a recent article that appeared on AOL about how you might negotiate a reduction in some of your personal medical expenses.

A 2005 Wall Street Journal Online/Harris Interactive Health Care poll found that only 12% of patients tried to negotiate a medical bill with their doctor. But of those that made the effort, 61% were successful. And 67% of doctors say that they provide some charity care, which is defined as free or discounted services, says Alwyn Cassil, spokeswoman for the Center for Studying Health System Change, a nonpartisan policy research center.

How do you negotiate?

When asked, many hospitals will quickly reduce its full price for a medical procedure down to what it charges Medicare, which is considered the benchmark for costs, says Kevin Flynn, president of Healthcare Advocates, a private advocacy firm based in Philadelphia. (You can look up Medicare reimbursement rates on the Center for Medicare & Medicaid Services web site.)

Flynn says that if you're paying for a doctor's visit out of pocket, many physicians will cut their price if a patient offers to pay the bill in cash before walking out the door.

Just last month I got a bill for my colonoscopy. It was over $6,000 and my insurance only paid $285! I called the imaging center, protested, and asked what could be done. They informed me that actually they had a special arrangement with my doctor for his patients. If I would send them the $285 that the insurance company had sent me for the procedure, plus another $500 they would adjust the bill and consider it paid in full.

WOW! Just for asking. I've learned my lesson. Now before paying any medical bill, I'm going to ask.

Stay healthy!

Note from the Author . . .

We are very pleased with the readership of this site, but we would like to ask a favor.

If you don't have a comment on a particular article, how about a question regarding negotiation?

Perhaps you would share with the readership a difficult negotiating problem you have or are encountering.

We would like to hear from you. Is there a topic you would like us to discuss?

Jim Sauerwein

POWER -- An Analogy

Analogies are such a good way to understand concepts. Here is an analogy I like:

Consider the bullfight. There are basically two participants, the bull and the matador. The bull has nearly all the physical power. Who usually wins? The matador. Why?

The matador is the player who brings planning and strategy into the process. So it is in the negotiation process!

Ready, AIM, fire

Jim Sauerwein

Favorite Negotiating Books

Every week or so, I am asked what my favorite negotiation books are. Of course Karrass' classic, The Negotiating Game will always be my favorite. Here is a list of some of my other favorites:

• Bargaining for Advantage by Richard Shell, Viking

• Smart Bargaining by Graham and Sano, Harper House. This one is out of print, but Amazon always seems to have a few used ones.

• What They Don't Teach You at the Harvard Business School by Mark McCormack

• Bargaining for Results by John Winkler, Pan

• Friendly Persuasion by Bob Woolf, Putnam (Good for sports fans)

• Getting Past NO by W. Ury, Bantam

• The New Negotiating Edge by Gavin Kennedy, Nicholas Brealey (pub)

• Getting to YES by Fisher, Ury and Patton, Penguin

• Beyond Negotiating by Carlisle and Parker, Wiley

• On Negotiating Mark McCormack, Dove

• Think Before You Speak Lewicki, Hiam, Olander, Wiley

• Getting Ready to Negotiate by Fisher and Ertel, Penguin

Of course, Harvard Business School always publishes good compilations. Some that I have read recently are: Negotiation, On Mergers and Acquisitions, and On Negotiation & Conflict Resolution.

Jim Sauerwein