Civility may save your negotiation

There’s little doubt that lately American society has been experiencing a slide in civility. In 2009, we saw many high profile, public demonstrations of rude behavior from politicians, athletes and musicians. As it turns out, the lack of civility may be influencing the course of business negotiations.

According to a Kansas City Star blog post entitled “Civility is desperately needed in work and in daily life,” business deals are falling through because of a lack of civility from one or both parties. Author Diane Stafford writes:

“From major real estate deals to individual job losses, we’re hearing more tales of business gone awry because of people who were too difficult to get along with.

And, unfortunately, many of those who are most adamant, most entrenched in the rightness of their views, are also the most factually wrong.

They can’t and won’t see it, though. And when there’s no civil sharing of opinions, there’s no compromise or conciliation. Labels and name calling replace discussion.”

Read the blog post here: http://www.kansascity.com/196/story/1712610.html

At Negotiation Space we have discussed bullying and other forms of unacceptable behavior in a negotiation. It is clear that when you are engaging in a business negotiation, treating the other party with disrespect will not help you reach a win-win agreement.

Some professions have mandates or even laws to enforce civility. For instance, in Pennsylvania there is a section of the legal code entitled “Code of Civility,” which enjoins lawyers and judges to

“conduct themselves in a manner that preserves the dignity and honor of the judiciary and the legal profession. These principles are intended to encourage lawyers, judges and court personnel to practice civility and decorum and to confirm the legal profession’s status as an honorable and respected profession where courtesy and civility are observed as a matter of course.” (From: http://www.pacode.com/secure/data/204/chapter99/subchapDtoc.html )

Business may not have a code of civility, but you can help encourage civility in your next negotiation. Some actions you can enforce to maintain civility include:

• Ban name calling or insults from your negotiation
• Listen to the other party without interrupting
• Treat everyone with respect
• Recognize opposing viewpoints without denigrating them
• Discuss issues rather than argue

Do you have any suggestions on how to maintain civility in business negotiations?