Is There a Place For a Sense of Humor in Negotiating?

In his first book, What They Don't Teach You at The Harvard Business School, the late Mark McCormick makes this observation: "Other than common sense, the most important asset in business management is a sense of humor. Laughter is the greatest diffuser of business tension and you want to be capable of using it."

Ben Franklin's rules for bargaining include: "Keep your sense of humor."

There is indeed a place for a sense of humor in the negotiating process. I imagine most of us would rather negotiate and do business with someone who keeps the process somewhat relaxed and even enjoyable. Noel Coward gives us some good advice for balance: "Wit is like caviar. It should be served in small portions and not spread about like marmalade."

You may remember that Henry Kissinger's early days in government service were not very productive. It was not until he hired a couple of humor consultants to teach him a sense of humor did Mr. Kissinger become effective. In the book, Travels with Henry, the author reports that some of the arms limitation talks in the Kremlin included laughter and downright silliness. Of course, these were not silly people, it is just that they needed some device for keeping the pressure maneagable and laughter was that device.

Remember, laugh and the whole world laughs with you.....

Jim Sauerwein

Why Bother?

Often we are asked, "Why bother with all this negotiating stuff? Just lay your offer on the table; they will either accept it or they won't." If the world were perfect and everyone thought the same way, this would be a very efficient approach.

In negotiations involved in long-term relationships, we hope to achieve satisfaction, not only from the outcome, but from the process of negotiation.

Richard Shell, in his wonderful book, Bargaining for Advantage, cites a study where three variables strategies were tested:

1. Start high, then refuse to move.

2. Start moderately, then refuse to move.

3. Start high, then gradually concede to the moderate point.

"The last strategy was the most successful by far. More agreements were concluded using this strategy. The parties employing the third strategy made more money per transaction than did those using the first two. And, the people who faced negotiators using the third strategy reported much higher levels of satisfaction with their agreements than did people who faced those who refused to move."

Shell concludes, "Concessions are the language of cooperation."

Jim Sauerwein

Quotations for Negotiators

In our presentations I use a lot of quotations to make certain points. Here are a few favorites:

Planning:

• Charting the course is the key to maintaining control. Wachovia Wealth Management advertisement, 2004
• No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy. Chinese military axiom
• Don't tell me what unless you can tell me how. An old boss of mine
• Before you can improve the fruit, you must first improve the root. Steven Covey

Ethics:

• Character is doing what is right when nobody's looking. J.C. Watts, politician
• Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
• Ethics must begin at the top of an organization. It is a leadership issue and the chief executive must set the example. Edward Hennessey, Jr.

Aspire:

• Don't be afraid to go out on a limb, that is where the fruit is. unk
• Only those who risk going too far will ever know how far one can go. T. S. Elliott
• If you want a kitten, start out asking for a horse. e-mail thoughts
• Big goals get big results. No goals get no results or somebody else's results. Mark Victor Hansen

Earn concessions:

• The manner in which it is given is worth more than the gift. Pierre Corneille
• When someone gets something for nothing, someone else gets nothing for something. Leadership booklet, June 2004
• If you give it away, demand is unlimited. Chester Karrass
• What we achieve too cheaply, we will esteem too lightly. Thomas Paine

Silence:

• I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. Publilius Syrus, Maxims
• Silence creates the impression of confidence in your position. Haggler's Handbook
• It is better to remain silent and be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. A. Lincoln, popularized by Mark Twain

Deadlock:

• Never cut what you can untie. Jobert
• A "no"deal is better than a bum deal! Sauerwein

Jim Sauerwein