Patience

I was recently conducting a negotiating seminar and was asked to talk about "tricks to learning patience". Sadly I was out of 'tricks', but here are some ideas that can improve every negotiator's ability to be a little more patient.

Recognition: We are not a patient culture and that characteristic certainly shows up in how we negotiate. When other cultures write about how to negotiate with Americans, one consistent point is to use our impatience against us. A sentence in a Japanese book on how to negotiate with Americans offers this advice: "It is a given that the American negotiators will make their flight."

There is an old cartoon showing a woman kneeling in prayer. This is her prayer, "Lord, please grant me patience and I want it NOW!"

Our culture is replete with sayings like: "Cut to the chase.", "Time is money!" and "Quit beating around the bush!" Here are some sayings to replace those:

• "The longer I take, the more I make." (old sales training saw)
• "Patience brings to the fore what nothing else will." ( Emerson)


• "Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet." (Rousseau)
• "Slow down, you're going too fast; you gotta make this (negotiation) moment last." (Song from long ago)

Awareness:

We have such a strong tendency to focus on our own deadlines that we forget that the other party has deadlines also. The more we recognize the existence of the other party's deadlines, the more we will negotiate with equity on that point, the easier patience is to employ.

Permission: What we see as patience our boss may see as procrastination. We all must be able to negotiate up the organization to gain permission to be patient. Be prepared to explain to your boss his or her benefit to be gained by your patience.

If your next negotiation is going to establish the foundation for a long-term relationship, take the time to:

Discover the real needs of the other party.

• Allow the other party to disclose how they measure success and satisfaction and how they are measured by their organization.
• Avoid the "Quickie" deal which might ruin the satisfaction which should be derived from the process of negotiation.

Remember: How can we form an agreement that stands the test of time when our process doesn't stand the time test?

JSauerwein